Sometimes I wonder why God does what He does. I try to follow what He wants me to do, yet theres things/decisions that I give up or make (I’m talking about good things) because I know that’s the Lord’s will; but I’m left wanting that which I gave up. Why doesn’t God take away those desires, and replace it with a wholehearted desire to do what He’s called me to do? I have three theories, but there’s possibly more which I haven’t spent the time to think of.
First, it might be possible that it is a testing of my contentment to see if I truly am willing to happily do what God has called me to do, or if I’ll do it with a complaining attitude, or don’t pursue it with my whole heart.
Second is that maybe it’s not God’s timing for things to happen, and I have to wait, but He’s left the desire there because some time later in life I am to fulfill that desire. The only thing is, some of the decisions I’ve made, because I believe it to be God’s will, are such convictions to me that I could never foresee myself ever deviating from the path that has been set.
Thirdly, Ps. 37:4 says, “Delight thyself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Could it be that I am not delighting in God enough? Not cultivating a strong enough relationship with Him? Because if I were, one of two things would happen. My desires would be granted because they would become God’s desires through drawing closer to him; or the desires I have are really God’s will, but subconsciously I do not want to do them and my relationship with God is not strong enough to see that.
I wish I knew because right now I go through some very sad days. It’s hard doing what you believe is right, but trying to decipher which voice you’re hearing, whether it’s your emotions or the Holy Spirit speaking.