Before I get into the main subject of this post, I just want to recap this past weekend working at the Wilds. It was a great time just to get away from the norm, and spend some time with my dad and brother. The camp site was amazing, so rich with fall color. All three of us worked in the dishroom which was a load of fun; the Wilds has a way of making “grudge jobs” fun. I saw some of my friends from this summer, and it was just a good time. I got to lead a hike to the 4th Falls, and the scenery was a lot different than when I had last been in the summer. All in all, things were great, and I’m looking forward to going back next weekend to counsel for the Teen Adventure.
Now, on to the subject of this post. I’ve been doing really well spiritually since January when God had really gotten a hold of my life. I grew more than ever before over the summer, and I began to think I was invincible. Then, to top it all off, two of my close friends got some major things right in their lives this fall. You would’ve thought that it would’ve only strengthened my walk with God, but for some reason the exact opposite occurred.
I got a proud attitude of how I was doing, and what others could learn from my life. It wasn’t the outward arrogance, but the inward type where you’re proud of your humility. The pride began to eat away at my relationship with my Father, and each day it continued to gain more of a foot hold in my life. Then about two weeks ago, I was sitting in my room thinking to myself, why do I even bother to fight in the spiritual battle? I literally and completely blinded to the reason why it was worth the struggle. I only wanted an easy life where I could be a good person, but always have to care if I messed up or what my motives for doing something were. It climaxed to the point where I no longer cared about what I was doing, or even about God. I completely gave it all up, and figured my life with God was over, I was taking a new direction in life.
Now you know why I focus on the grace of God so much. It’s because “though I often tend to stray, He brings me back and guides my way.” I don’t care how many times I drift away from God, He continually brings me back to Himself. That’s partly how my faith is strengthened, because I’ve come to realize that there must be a purpose to my life that God has for me; otherwise He wouldn’t bother with always chasing after me. It always excites me to think of what thing God has in store for me that He choose me, and continues to drag me back every time I get a little too far.
I know this isn’t the last time I’m going to go through this, but I also know that God is faithful and just; and He will see to it that His will is done in my life no matter the decisions I make. My God is so good, so faithful, loving, sovereign, and strong; these are the attributes that come to mind.
This is from “the core”,